100% HEAVY / 100% Free / 0% Spam

TOTALLY UNICORN: High Spirits // Low Life

Share This:

Farmer & The Owl/BMG

February 18

It is testament to the depth of talent in Australia that Sydney punk outfit Totally Unicorn have somehow managed to stay under my radar for over a decade.

Normally I am all over bands of this nature.

Bands that seemingly take nothing seriously and have the ability to poke fun at themselves without breaking a sweat.

Bands that have the attitude of a crack baby and the spunk of their mother before she hit the streets.

Bands that are REAL.

Admittedly – and through no-ones fault except my own – the band name and choice of promotional campaign did little to warrant more than a passing ear but one of the best things about this job is sometimes you are forced into unfamiliar conditions to possibly listen to a band because you don’t want to sound like a total dick when you interview them.

And so, my love affair with Totally Unicorn began that fateful Summer’s day barely 6 weeks ago.

I was to have the pleasure of chatting with vocalist Drew Gardner about this release so, being the ultimate professional I am, I hit play on the trusty monitor and finally got sucked into the musical enigma that is Totally Unicorn.

Starting with the pulsating drum flow of Yeah, Coach, Totally Unicorn ease somewhat into their third long player, obviously having read the memo about building into an album.

Although barely more than a musical interlude, there is already an underlying sense of mischief about this band that seems to ramp up each time the music rises to a crescendo before Gardner drawls something like “yeah yeah yeah” into the microphone and the air of apathy fills the void quickly, almost suffocatingly.

Interesting opener, but it got my attention.

I’m assuming the coach is a bit of a monotonous bore, so make a mental note not to back with them on my next crack at punting.

Drummer Adam Myers again introduces the next track Tip Your Tinfoil Hat before Aaron Streatfeild makes huis guitar sing as best it can under the weight of distortion and Gardner continues on his merry way telling all and sundry he doesn’t care.

As if I give a fuck. But seldom have I heard someone carry on so much while still enjoying myself.

Typical Australian language and descriptive passages are a feature early, not too dissimilar to another bunch of Sydney upstarts Frenzal Rhomb, which we shall get to a little later on.

It’s bass player Dean Podmore’s turn to kick the next track Old Mate in the guts, the loosely constrained and wicked bass line running throughout adding that touch of urgency to a song that already seems to be on the verge of creating its own health problems.

For those outside of Australia listening to or reading this, old mate is a term invented for one of two reasons.

Primarily for when, for the life of you, you either can’t remember someone’s name or have previously deemed that person not worthy of one (“there’s old mate”) or, and this is only on heresy, it is a term to flip off to the local coppers who are trying to prize a name out of you in the interests of public safety (“Honestly officer, I don’t know his name. I have only ever called him old mate).

Get the picture?

Anyway, seeing as how Totally Unicorn refuse to divulge said person’s name for whatever reasons, I am going to condemn the bastard to the tip myself and move on to next track Weekday Warrior.

This kicks off like that old Kinks song (I…I need… I need you…blah blah blah) before ironing out the kinks and denigrating into another filthy punk infused number of total contempt.

Gardner deadpans his vocals with enough sporadic intensity to make me wanna vote for him at the next election and is ably supported the remainder of the unicorns who play as though they are pissed off at not just the world, but everyone in it.

Podmore rears his melon again towards the end with a cool little bass solo that tells us he hasn’t frozen to the spot and once again the once extinct unicorn is alive and well and probably preparing to ram his magnificent horn fair up your clacker.

Title track High Spirits//Low Life starts with Gardner bemoaning “I don’t wanna feel the same” and even at this early stage I know he is not going to be shy about telling us why.

While generally having a shit time at life by the sounds of things, Totally Unicorn can find solace in the fact that their music is not reflective of their condition.

Word on the street is these guys take it to another level once set free on stage and the music is definitely conducive to that claim.

You could imagine them filling the stage with kegs of beer, beer bongs and a massive piñata in the centre, blindly flailing about with their wooden rods of destruction and destroying everything in the process.

Sounds like a great time. Sign me up!

There is nothing even remotely new about Totally Unicorn, their attitude, or their music, but the fact they seem to know that, and, as Gardner has mentioned on more than one occasion, they don’t give a fuck, is enough for me.

A tender and a touch out of tune acoustic breakdown interrupts the track while Gardner veers further into the midst of depression, his personal anguish accentuated by the lack of noise going on around him.

Does punk have love songs?

Are they even allowed to?

It seems Totally Unicorn don’t give a fuck about that either because I think the title track is one. Or was meant to be.

But who gives a fuck, right?

The Catch brings back a bit of anarchy in the T.U as Gardner finds something else that ticks him off to sing about. I’m not sure if it was a dropped catch at the cricket or a sitter at the footy, but whatever it is I’m pretty sure Gardner’s team lost, and the Bombers had a win because Gardner doesn’t seem too happy about it.

Jay from Frenzal Rhomb stops in to say hi on next track Fri(ends) and the penny finally drops.

As if they hadn’t given me enough reasons to like mystical extinct creatures already, Totally Unicorn bear more than a passing resemblance to one of my favourite Aussie acts of all time, the other punk outfit in this country that always seems to be complaining and having a crack, the mighty Frenzal Rhomb.

These guys obviously share more than a love of punk music and destruction. I think they might also be china plates (mates if you can’t keep up).

This was also one of the singles released from the album, probably because it would be pretty foolish not to put a video out where you had the opportunity to show the world that you are Frenzal approved. That and the fact Jay is one very handsome bloke with a face built specifically for radio…

For the first time in recent memory Jay manages to restrain himself here, not coming in until more than half way through the song. I say restrain himself because as anyone who has seen Frenzal live will attest the man cannot stay still. How they managed to keep him quiet for that long while waiting for his turn is one of those unsolved mysteries that seem to make people interested in something they really don’t give a fuck about.

There you go boys, I have started your next single for you already…

Trust Fund Glee must be a musical appreciation for the lucky few who have everything handed to them, and when Gardner – quite casually I must say – drops the C bomb (not COVID) I have yet another insight into my enjoyment of this band.

For those easily offended, please turn away now, but he said cunt.

Yes, yes he did. Naughtily defiant little man he is.

Final track Not Winning was definitely not a self-penned ode, because Totally Unicorn have emerged from this album winning on every level.

These guys know how to rock out and have fun while doing it and I love that fact.

Go team Totally Unicorn.

PRE-ORDER HIGH SPIRITS//LOW LIFE  VINYL, CASSETTE AND ALBUM BUNDLES  HERE

Discover more like this on HEAVY:

Our Picks.

Get the HEAVY
Digi-Mags!

Get the HEAVY Digi-Mag in-boxed weekly. 100% HEAVY / 0%SPAM.