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[SINGLE REVIEW] WHORETOPSY: White Men Can’t Blump

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Band: Whoretopsy
Song Title: White Men Can’t Blump (Intimate Discust II)
Release Date: 19/10/2016
Review by Mitch Alexander

Heaviness is a beat. It’s something I’ve always sort of known, but never really had viscerally pummelled into my dumb head with as much ferocity as when listening to the disgusting, crass and satisfying new single from Whoretopsy, “White Men Can’t Blump”.

Debate rages amongst the worst internet N E R D S about what makes something “heavy”; low tuning, blast beats, guttural vocals, the exertion of gravity upon an object with non-negligible mass? Does Whoretopsy prove it’s the beat?

Despite the vaguely offensive theme of this entire band’s existence they are quite adept songwriters, actually managing to write complimentary sections in the way most bands say they like to but don’t. We’ve got our fast wheedle tails after a shredding riff, a couple of beats of drone before some classic Dad Death Metal, the bullshit good stomps littered throughout, and that delicious beat-hook.

Special mention needs to go to the vocal arrangement, which darts between ‘percussive accoutrement’ and “someone singing something you can focus on.’

It’s hard to recommend a single. It’s three minutes out of your day, but you’re also not likely to listen to it more than a couple of times? I dunno. It’s real good. I liked it. You’ll probably listen to it cause… why not?

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