Each week, HEAVY will run a fresh list of 15 things to do with metal. They could be anything from metal karaoke songs to bands that have been banned from playing to horror-themed metal bands. You name it, if there are 15 or more of them out there, then HEAVY will assemble them into a list for you! This week’s list is Metal Movie Soundtracks.
Heavy metal and movies go hand in hand like flame and fire, but unfortunately, on the majority of occasions, the music lives by the same stereotypes and misconceptions that have plagued metal since the dawn of time. As a general rule, only movies about murder, lust, violence or a combination of all three feature metal on the soundtracks. A win is a win, I guess, and truth be told, it would be out of place if Slipknot started singing Spit It Out as the movie’s hero eased in for his first kiss with its heroine…
END OF DAYS
As soon as you know Arnold Schwarzenegger is in a movie, you generally know what to expect. But the commando has outdone himself in this absolutely shithouse movie that has something to do with Arnie being bodyguard to a man who is actually Satan and has to turn against his employer in order to stop him fucking up the whole world. Need I go on?
But the soundtrack rocks, featuring KORN, Guns N Roses, Limp Bizkit and Powerman 5000 amongst others. But not even that could save this stinker.
THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS
This movie was up against it for a number of reasons, the main one being it didn’t have Brandon Lee playing The Crow – mainly because film-makers literally killed him off in the first movie. It was a massive fuck up because Bruce Lee‘s son was the best part of the original and subsequent sequels/spin offs all lived in the massive shadow cast by both his life and death.
It didn’t help either that there is only so much plot you can wring out of an avenging death angel who can only be hurt when someone fucks with his crow. Nuff said. But on yet another occassion where good music somewhat saves a shit movie, bands like Hole, Filter, Deftones and Korn minimised the damage by rocking the fuck out of their brief sonic intrusions, but Iggy Pop should have stuck to just having his song on the soundtrack because his acting role in the movie rammed home the point that musicians – all of them – should never try to act.
FREDDY VS JASON
The hype surrounding this movie as it was being made was massive, which ultimately proved too much to live up to when the reception for Freddy Vs Jason was largely underwhelming.
It should have been one of the best horror movies of all time, with Freddy Krueger foolishly thinking that resurrection Jason Vorhees would somehow help him revitalise his weakening hold over the living in their dreams. When Jason repays this faith by having the nerve to go on a killing spree and taking out victims that Freddy had already called dibs on, the knives are sharpened, and the very idea of snapping your fingers to call a cease fire disappears amid a bloody outburst of serial killer swinging dicks.
The soundtrack is sensational, featuring Slipknot, DevilDriver, Murderdolls, Sevendust, Hatebreed, From Autumn To Ashes, Spineshank, Ill Nino, Killswitch Engage and a host of others, making the Freddy Vs Jason soundtrack possibly one of the best of all time.
XXX
A corny plot about an extreme sportsman sanctioned by the US government to infiltrate those pesky Russians should have fallen well short of the mark in XXX, but the inspired casting of a then little-known actor by the name of Vin Diesel proved a masterstroke when he actually almost looked capable of killing off 5000 bad guys armed with only his wits and stunt precision.
There’s lots of explosions and suggestive sexuality throughout the movie, but it’s the comedic timing and fighting skills shown by the man named after gasoline that ensured a couple of sequels would follow. After initially deciding to use a host of metal bands on the soundtrack to make the movie sound better if it was shit, the decision turned into masterstroke number two when the album also smashed it at the registers. And with bands like Rammstein, Drowning Pool, Hatebreed and Mushroomhead leading the pack, how could it not? The only thing keeping this soundtrack off the leaderboard is the sprinkling of non-metal bands on there, but with the advent of the skip button, this ceased to be as much of a problem.
QUEEN OF THE DAMNED
Hopes were high for this Anne Rice written movie, loosely based around the Vampire Lestat, who awakens from his slumber and becomes a rock star. But as has been the case since before the first vampire even suckled his first neck vein, his female counterpart fucks his promising career as a rock God when she decides that because Lestat woke her up he was duty-bound to take her marriage and feast off the flesh of other aspiring musicians for the rest of eternity.
But, in one of the most inspired casting decisions EVER, the main thing that made Queen Of The Damned highly watchable was the choice of having Jonathon Davis from KORN provide the musical component to Lestat’s pipes. Funnily enough, this didn’t translate to KORN appearing on the soundtrack, but organisers made up for that oversight by including tracks from Papa Roach, Disturbed, Wayne Static and Deftones amongst a stack of other metal tunes.
DEATHGASM
Deathgasm is great on so many levels, the biggest being that it is a New Zealand film and as such features bands from this side of the world on the soundtrack. It sounds like a pretty lame storyline involving a couple of teenagers who decide the only way they can make their life less boring is to whip up a little black magic and see what happens, but it is actually a damn good movie. What happens is they summon forth an ancient demon who isn’t too happy about being sent to the land of the Long White Sheep and vents his frustration by killing people.
The slapstick approach to humour that underscores Deathgasm enhances the enjoyment, and when you sprinkle in a bunch of songs from Elm Street, Emperor, 8 Foot Sativa, Bulletbelt and a stack of others, then the chances of defeating any ancient bad guy seem better. You might still be fucked, but you will go out with good music ringing in your ears.
SCREAM 3
If you aren’t already familiar with The Scream horror franchise, then I’m not gonna waste too much time telling you. Suffice to say, every movie and sequel and sequel to a sequel has teens and old journalists on the run from Ghostface, a clumsy as fuck serial killer whose weapon of choice is a big fuck off blade. They are all cheesy as fuck movies, but also strangely irresistible, with much of the thrill for movie goers trying to figure out just who the ghost is behind the mask that wants to kill people from Woodsborough selectively for some reason.
The soundtrack is a banger with bands like Incubus, Sevendust, Fuel, Static X and Slipknot amongst the kill tracks, so at least those a touch squirmish at the sight of fake blood can still find their happy place in moments of death.
LITTLE NICKY
If you have seen the 2000 movie Little Nicky, you will understand when I say that the most memorable part of the movie is when Ozzy Osbourne makes a cameo of himself and re-enacts the famous biting of the bat part of his life – albeit using CGI. The plot centres around Nicky (Adam Sandler), whose old man – the Devil – sends him to Earth to retrieve his two devilish brothers who have escaped the clutches of Hell.
You would also remember – for the wrong reasons – Sandler’s highly irritating voice as Nicky, but the one thing that almost managed to save the movie was the soundtrack, which includes P.O.D, Powerman 5000, Zebrahead and Ozzy. There’s some shit stuff mixed in there as well, but even one metal song has the ability to make you smile in the face of garbage…
AIRHEADS
Although making metalheads look like they are all dumb as dogshit, Airheads was actually quite a good movie. The plot centres around a group of metalheads who storm Capitol Records armed with fake guns to make the powers that be finally play their music on radio.
I tell a lie, it wasn’t Capital Records, but never let the truth get in the way of a good stor,y they say. A fantastic cast including Steve Buscemi, Brendan Fraser, Adam Sandler, and Chris Farley keep the laughs coming, but it’s the music from Candlebox, Prong, Anthrax, Primus and Motorhead that make this movie a music lovers dream.
DRACULA 2000
You would think that if you took on the role of being a tea leaf as an occupation, you would know if something you plan to steal is valuable or potentially dangerous, but that didn’t stop the now dead robbers in Dracula 2000, who decided a dusty-looking relic that hadn’t been opened in over a century needed to be opened.
Of course, this pissed off Count Dracula, who was only partway through a nap and the ensuing carnage left the taste of blood on the good count’s lips pretty much from his waking moment until… you are going to have to watch it yourself to find out what happened.
The soundtrack was awesome, with every track being a metal masterpiece with no filler. Bands such as Pantera, Slayer, System Of A Down, Disturbed and Static X lead the charge, but in this instance the soundtrack was infinitely better than the movie.
THE SCORPION KING
Contrary to popular belief, no scorpions were harmed in the making of The Scorpion King, although there was a rock perilously close to crushing them on numerous occasions.
When that rock is Dwayne Johnson, things take on a different perspective, so it’s not only scorpions placed on the endangered list. Sorcerers, assassins, desert warriors, and swordsmen of many persuasions are all endangered when a pissed off Rock takes umbrage to someone stealing his Queen, and everyone is in the shit. But the soundtrack made up for it, featuring Godsmack, Rob Zombie, Drowning Pool, Mushroomhead, and Sevendust all braving the desert winds to get their point across.
JUDGEMENT NIGHT
Judgement Night was one of – if not the first – movie to bring metal and hip hop together on a grand scale. Featuring collaborations between Ice T and Slayer, House Of Pain and Helmet, Biohazard and Onyx and more, Judgement Night was either the dawn of a new era or the end of music as we know it, depending on who you ask.
The movie was damn good too, based around a group of mates who witness a murder and spend the rest of the movie running from the gang who did it. With Cuba Gooding Jr, Steven Dorff and Emilio Estevez amongst the cast, the odds are definitely in favour of the bad conquering the bad.
DEMON KNIGHT
From the people who brought us Tales From The Crypt, Demon Knight would have still been a great movie if Madonna had written the soundtrack. A completely out there action/comedy, Demon Knight sees Billy Zane taking shelter in an old church after a car accident and finds himself targeted by demons who want him to retrieve a key from the Demon Knights that supposedly holds the blood of Jimmy Jesus himself!
The soundtrack elevates Demon Knight from a cool movie to a fucken awesome one, featuring Sepultura, Rollins Band, Megadeath, Machine Head and Biohazard. This movie is likely responsible for opening metal up to shitloads of people, with Pantera‘s classic track Cemetery Gates heard by a mass of fresh ears just because of Demon Knight.
DAREDEVIL
This is one of the darker movies out of the Marvel stable, centring around a blind lawyer who fights – and kills – bad guys using skills he has developed due to his lack of (eye) sight. It utilises a clever sense of vibration that substitutes for actual hearing and is also a bit funny in parts. Many people love this movie for the introduction of Jon Bernthal in the role of Frank Castle – aka The Punisher – who didn’t fuck around when it came time to take out the trash.
The soundtrack is more on the hard rock side, but that’s good enough for us when bands like Finger Eleven, Chevelle, Evanescence, BoySetsFire and Rob Zombie with Drowning Pool dominate the landscape.
THE MATRIX
So good was the Keanu Reeves mindfuck of a movie, The Matrix, that a lot of people – myself included – didn’t even realise the soundtrack is dominated by metal.
The whole premise of The Matrix, which takes the concept of man versus machine to so many different levels, was, and still is, brilliant, but it was the unrivalled visual effects that led to a franchise of Matrix movies. When you factor in that the soundtrack includes Rage Against The Machine, Deftones, Monster Magnet, Ministry and Marilyn Manson, to name but a few, it’s no wonder The Matrix is one of the highest-grossing films of all time.
Next week’s HEAVY 15 LIST is Metal Comedy Bands…
