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[FEATURE] Top Ten HEAVY Cunny Funts

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Metal can’t always be about being ‘angry’, ‘dark’ and ‘brutal’. We need to have a few class clowns in the business, and for some that may be classed as a recipe for success. HEAVY decided to take a look at some of the funny folks of the heavy music world who cause our faces and stomachs to be in a world of laughter and pain.

Adam Dutkiewicz (Killswitch Engage)
Killswitch’s Adam D is a one of a kind bandmate and a random one at that. Adam D’s that one guy that will wind up going dressed onstage in a superman costume or even wearing some girl’s bra. His witty sense of humour and way of responding to random questions from fans and critics always come with colour and are often hard to not have a giggle at. Plus, we will never forget that one time we saw that legend on The Price is Right!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2jqoUABDGI&w=854&h=480]


Dethklok may be everyone’s favourite animated metal musos, but goddamn. While they’re recognised as the best band in the world in the show, we see them as the funniest f*ckers ever. For a bunch of musicians who don’t know how to tune a guitar, but can correct several mistakes on a contract that the devil wrote, Dethklok can provide hilarity and brutality throughout each and every episode.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB32073N4vY&w=854&h=480]


Devin Townsend
From coffee drinking omniscient aliens to fart jokes, Devin Townsend makes it clear that he’s more than just a musician, he’s a full-blown, highly qualified entertainer. The man even takes the piss out of himself by sharing memes of himself on a large projector before his shows. While being a humble human being off the stage, Devin Townsend continues to be himself through his music and gives plenty of hysterical moments.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvmIByrcwAQ&w=854&h=480]


The scumdogs themselves have been one of Metal’s most reliable source of heavy hilarity for over thirty years. Having done series of controversial shows in their timeline, including making guest appearances on Jerry Springer and Joan Rivers, GWAR have gone from killing celebrities and worldwide leaders (including Tony Abbott) to aborting babies, spraying (fake) semen, urine and blood over the crowd and even Oderus Urungus reading a children’s storybook, and goddamn, they do it in the best way, possible. With a large amount of obscenity like that, it’s so delicious that we can never turn our heads away from GWAR’s rude and picturesque style.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ud1DluFNCe0&w=854&h=480]


Maynard James Keenan
There’s no denying Maynard is a very strange and interesting character in the business. While displaying a series of extremely serious and cathartic words written from each stroke of his quill, Maynard harbours a habit of being one of those strange figures that have a unique sense of humour. With his comedic side particularly portrayed in Puscifer, Maynard will include an array of sex jokes, as one of his alter egos – Billy Dee.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZyeaNPI4uk&w=854&h=480]


Mikael Akerfeldt
When it comes to prog music, Opeth is 100% serious about what they do. But when they hit the stage in between songs, Mikael Akerfeldt – one of the metal’s greatest frontmen just so happens to be an unlikely joker. He’ll often bring up how one of his band members took a shit before the gig, as well as going to the extent of responding to random attendees in the audience yelling out. There has even been footage of a fan giving Akerfeldt a Big Mac during a show, and eating it onstage while Opeth jammed. So, expect not only an immaculate performance from Opeth but an amusing one in between each track.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvSb6l-GcJ0&w=854&h=480]


Protest the Hero
If it’s a live show you’re seeing of Protest the Hero, you’re more likely to die from vocalist Rody Walker’s stand-up traits than you are in the mosh pit. While their lyrics have serious topics surrounding their music, they’ll slide in some tongue-in-cheek moments in their wordplay. Even in their music videos, you’re going to discover a series of random shit going down that’ll have you on the floor.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUodza3eoUQ&w=854&h=480]


Red Fang
Red Fang is the type to display their wacky sense of humour through their iconic music videos that include beer drinking zombies, wasting a $5000 cheque from their record label on random crap to crash into with their car, and even playing live action role playing with armour made out of beer cans. These magnificent, bearded buggers just make stoner rock so much livelier through those videos.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VufilzHKTqk&w=854&h=480]


Steel Panther
Chances are, these guys have f*cked your mother and your girlfriend. And you may be their son/daughter without knowing and refused to pay for your child support over the years. With 90% of their songs about sex and drugs, and probably even about your mum, there’s nothing too farfetched for Steel Panther can do or say to have you cracking up. Not even jokes about Lostprophets are gonna keep them from being seen as everyone’s favourite glam metal revivalists.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYS8jyOcFc&w=854&h=480]


Twelve Foot Ninja
As one of Australia’s most diverse groups, Twelve Foot Ninja also have the jester genes flowing throughout their bodies. Another band to have it displayed in their film clips, Twelve Foot will include a couple of corny dance moves as well as butchering internet trolls, along with a whole series that hilariously, make no sense, whatsoever. While you can go ahead and have a good laugh at them, make sure you keep yourselves busy. Twelve Foot have a thing against those who haven’t been busy. That’s no laughing matter to them.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHQ121jygSo&w=854&h=480]


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