Self Released
June 5, 2026
Words by Kris Peters
Generally, when a band’s press release showers praise such as proclaiming they “deliver their most focused and ferocious release yet”, I automatically tune out, safe in the knowledge I have heard the exact same thing said about thousands of albums that have come across my desk. But when the band in question is one you have interviewed once before and found to be eclectic, fun, extremely talented and just a little bit crazy, then such pretence lifts dramatically. Enough even to warrant an immediate spin.
Kentucky crossover thrash metal outfit Belushi Speed Ball have always openly worn the heart of their influences on their sleeves – to the point they proudly released a song called Ripping Off Municipal Waste from their 2022 album What Us, Worry? before anyone could outright accuse them of such indecency. Which tells you all you need to know about Belushi Speed Ball in that they are also a fun, almost comedic band who take themselves less seriously than your most flippant relative does.
But that’s enough about ancient history because the future is now, and it is heralded by the release of Belushi Speed Ball‘s new album, Toxic Waste Was Everywhere In The ’80s. Actually, one more thing to add is that this band has three guitarists, so from this moment forth, I shall refrain from trying to name any one of them on any given song because chances are I will mess it up…
A six-second intro passage called Let’s Go Da Bears might be short and seem utterly pointless, but it also offers new listeners to the band a chance to learn what regular listeners already know. That the only thing you can expect from a Belushi Speed Ball album is not to expect anything, because this bunch of musical goofballs likely had no idea themselves of what they were doing until they hit record. And even then, things likely veered into a plethora of different directions. Let’s Go Da Bears!
I Ought Not Know offers the first slice of musicality on Toxic Waste Was Everywhere In The ’80s with – you guessed it – an 80’s driven guitar riff that rapidly spins out of control until vocalist Vinny Castellano barks “did you seriously call me out” before Belushi Speed Ball launch headfirst into a wickedly fast and awesomely supurb opening song that sets the bar exceedingly high for the rest of the album.
Belushi Speed Ball not only have three members smashing guitar strings, but they also have an additional vocalist – Brian Desper – that somehow makes me picture Garth in Wayne’s World every time he chimes in with back-ups or quips in both apt and inopportune moments. I’m not sure if the likeliness is intentional or not, but it definitely adds to the sonic experience, which is already devastatingly brutal and undeniably fun.
The band pose the question of How Tough Am I? on the next track, a seemingly rhetorical question given impetus by the electrifying guitar riff that is guided in by an opposingly gentle high hat and kick drum shuffle that would sound out of place in most other places, but is barely noticed here.
The riff continues unopposed throughout the song, given extra ferocity courtesy of some insanely brutal drumming from Ben Cotton that borders on being superhuman. This song could easily be written off as a blast off between drums and guitar, but the overwhelming presence of Castellano is never far from thoughts as How Tough Am I? explodes into a ball of rage that would test most mosh pit regulars. Fuck me, I am exhausted just typing to it!
Next up is the oddly named That’s a Mighty Fine Wayne Gretzky and before I even have time to ponder the origins of the title the song throws a major curveball by dishing up a subtler intro passage that borders on normality until Belushi Speed Ball quickly tire of convention and steer the song into more familiar territory.
A quick burst of drums and guitar steadies the ship before it is capsized completely with the arrival of Castellano, and once more we are thrust into a sonic battle of epic proportions underlined by more regular intrusions from our good friend Garth. The best way to describe this, and every song thus far, is ferociously ambiguous with a raging multitude of maniacal guitars forceful enough to raise the Titanic. If that were possible.
A frenetic and dangerous guitar solo threatens to take us all to an untimely end before things slow down enough for Castellano to find breathing space and mutter – in a much more soothing but still unflappable tone – “the ladies love it, the ladies love it when you whip these out at them“, suggesting a Wayne Gretzky might possibly be a womans fashion item or accessory of some sort?
As I wait for What’s Funnier Than 24? to ignite, I feel it is only fair to divulge that I have already listened to Toxic Waste Was Everywhere In The ’80s once before, but only up to this point. Not because I have previously tired of the content, but more because OF the content in this sensational number that almost made this reviewer fall off his chair. But more on that in roughly 52 seconds…
It is only natural to go into a song called What’s Funnier Than 24? with an air of expectation and also a touch of nostalgia as your mind subconsciously backtracks to when you were that age and the hopefully good moments that punctuated that twelve-month period. But before you can fall deeper into such thoughts, a mountain of thrash metal insanity fills the air with venemous intent and once more I find my neck trying its hardest to separate from my body as it thrusts violently forward and back without pause or self-preservation.
And then Castellano’s beautiful voice screams at whoever will listen, “thank God for Australia, they brought the world the greatest inventions“. And while I have to admit I couldn’t decipher the first one or two of said greatest things, I clearly hear the words HEAVY Magazine mentioned just before the Holden ute! While the majority of people reading this would not have their ears distracted by just two words, the immediate impact it had here in the HEAVY office was one of surprise, respect, gratitude and adulation. So much so that I take a moment to rewind in ten-second increments to make sure my rapidly deteriorating ears are not playing tricks on me.
Of course, the rest of What’s Funnier Than 24? is just as infectious, although I am still no closer to dismantling the meaning behind this song aside from the only answer given by Belushi Speed Ball. Which is 25. Fucks me why I didn’t know that already…
What is more important is the fact we are only five songs deep with nine to go so best I stop grinning like a cheshire cat and move on to All Pete’s Exes which features a gentlemen by the name of Peter Lee and although I can’t see anyone by the name of Pete listed as a band member something tells me there might also be some moments of clarity provided by one or more of his exes.
A rapid bout of drumming introduces us to this tale of woe, ushering in a tasty and surprisingly upbeat guitar run before Castellano provides some clarity as he informs us that legend has it this tale takes place in Dallas, Texas, where three things exist. Propane, cowboys, and Pete‘s exes, and if you aren’t completely lost already, fear not, because chances are you soon will be.
The savageness of the ensuing breakdown, coupled with fierce and frenetic drumming overlapped by soaring guitar runs, suggests that Pete‘s exes might possibly be tougher than the titular Pete, and the band confirms as much as they smash and groove their way through the Wild West, seemingly placated along the way by boots (or it could be boobs) and booze in Texas. Now, what was my travel agent’s phone number again?
Another name from outside of the bands actual members pops up as Portrait Of Kellaway’s Wife explodes out of the blocks amid a swirling maelstorm of intent that is given added impetus as Cotton‘s drumkit is seeminly assaulted by one of Pete‘s remaining exes, and once more a wall of irresistable thrash metal goodness sweeps through the air in a fist pumping and almost anthemic slab of music that is frequently violated by a multitude of guitar play which could possibly see all three guitars competing for attention at the same time.
Or maybe it’s just one of them. Fucked if I know. I’m a writer, not a musician.
It seems Belushi Speed Ball are dragging another outsider into the action with D.E.N.N.I.S. System, but there is even more likelihood, given the way it is written, that the letters have a sinister meaning of their own when used as individual entities, so the only way to find out is to shut up and listen!
A more tempered and casual-sounding piece of guitar kicks things off, and it appears we might be getting a slightly less aggressive take on life before a sizzling guitar solo sparks the rest of the band into action, and things turn directly back to Thrashville with Belushi Speed Ball seemingly having either no pause button entirely or choosing to ignore its existence completely. Either way, D.E.N.N.I.S. System takes us on a brutal trip highlighted with bursts of even more energy and snarling contempt from Castellano that are becoming more and more soothing as the album progresses.
This track is definitely more restrained than most of the other compositions that make up Toxic Waste Was Everywhere in the ‘80s, with a much more positive and – dare I say it – bright disposition than what has pummelled us from the six-second initial intro.
I’m pretty sure It’s a Green Day (You Know, Still as in Stocks) is going to be more of an outright dig at the band rather than a coincidental and unoffensive passing reference, and from the opening punk infused smashing of drums that leads Castellano to tell all and sundry that he doesn’t give a shit about our stocks I am pretty sure I am on the right track with Option A.
Which is when it suddenly occurs to me that Belushi Speed Ball are, in fact, a band of two contrasting components that somehow intertwine to produce an infectiously brutal outlook of sonic extremities that are equally as impressive when separated as they are combined. What the fuck am I on about, you may ask? And although I kind of have no idea myself, what I do know is I now realise that Toxic Waste Was Everywhere in the ‘80s – as with probably all of Belushi Speed Ball‘s albums – has to be digested over multiple sittings for full impact.
When combined, the music and the lyrics are an unstoppable force of nature, but it is almost impossible to absorb both sides of the musical cherry in one bite without concentrating on one more than the other.
Make sense? Let’s move on to Terminator Lava Factory, shall we?
A rapid burst of intensity is met with another descent into madness as Castellano shouts his thoughts to the world in time and tune with a much more tempered display of guitar interplay that is only haphazardly sonically abused by the harsher side of musicality. While on the surface much of the music on this album is driven by a similar vehicle, it would be insanely fraudulent to say it all sounds the same. The overpowering backbone of thrash metal carries the bulk of weight throughout, but it is the more subtle expansions of humour or the more intricate displays of musical disparity that offer more and deeper layers throughout every track.
And Terminator Lava Factory is no different, bouncing between an almost gazoo-infused landscape and the thrashier side of metal without affecting the flow and immediate impact of the material. And I’m not just being nice because of the earlier shout-out either…
I’m not sure if the guy alluded to in I’m Not Your Buddy, Guy is a person called Guy or just a random stranger with Guy being capitalised because it is in the title, but one thing is already clear: whoever it is seemingly has no friends in Belushi Speed Ball. Which is irrelevant to the rest of us as a tasty guitar run continues through to an all-out assault of the senses. Whoever Guy is, he must have pissed someone right the fuck off!
Guitar squeals sit aggressively beside off-time drumming and frenetic vocals in a seething display of anger and contempt that somehow still manages to have splatterings of almost light-hearted fun that only Belushi Speed Ball can provide. Either way, fuck Guy, whoever he is.
The next track has to be good, seeing the band named it after itself, and it doesn’t disappoint, as a tidal wave of emotion is swept under a sea of ferocity that quickly does justice to the band and their music. But instead of blowing their own horn as would be their right in a song called Belushi Speed Ball, the band instead pay homage – well, I think it’s homage – to Iron Maiden, then Black Sabbath before mentioning themselves.
It turns out the song is actually directed towards bands who have released music bearing their own name, but because of the fact Belushi Speed Ball mention themselves alongside their peers makes it unclear whether they are for or against the idea. But I’m confident there are more votes for.
Belushi Speed Ball aren’t quite finished with us yet, as Captain Planet Skit deviates from the noise with an entertaining interview/debate between – I assume – Castellano and Desper that is by far more confusing than anything I have already scrambled your mind with above. (late editor’s note. It is actually Kyle Phelps – the band’s old guitarist – on this skit. There is an inside joke there, but you will have to do your own research…)
As another vaguely named song in Captain Planet Still Can’t Stop Us heralds the completion of this descent into chaos I barely have time to reflect on what has come before, with the band declaring “Belushi Speed Ball wants to bang your heads”, and if it’s good enough for them, then how can we mere mortals disagree?
This is a fitting and welcomingly predictable way for Belushi Speed Ball to leave us after an exhausting yet thoroughly enjoyable journey through the better reaches of the musical universe, but not before the band reveals that our heads aren’t the only thing they want to bang.
Use your imagination if you don’t understand…
