September 15
Words by Lewd Scoff
Truth be told, old mate muggins Scoff here is still stuck in a parallel universe that is more akin to 2008’s Myspace-era Hot Topic core, than 2023’s ‘studio production is an actual genre of music’ crossed with crossovers. And I am cross.
Nah, not really. I do enjoy a good final mix that has been tweaked with studio trickery as it were, if the music itself is sustainable in a non-uber production-like environment. George Martin was considered a fifth Beatle due to his candour of contortion within the sonics at the mixing desk, and Pink Floyd had his time in studio 1, that’s for sure. Pink’s 1973 classic Dark Side of The Moon, is still as relevant today as it was when he released it that warm Thursday morning on the 1st of March. Little did he know that it would go on to inspire countless producers, engineers and the odd megalomaniac for decades to come.
Cut to now, and you will witness 30 SECONDS TO MARS release their most recent long player, It’s the End of the World but It’s a Beautiful Day this Friday (15th September for the calendar boffins) to see exactly what I mean.
Written under seclusion throughout the Bandemic (the no gigs era), this barrage of brilliance comes from a much larger cannon of works composed mainly in 2021. Yes, when you were cranking the ’90s in Fork Knife or worse still, starting a podcast about big pharma of all things, Jared Leto, his long-suffering brother Shannon, Matt Wachter and Solon Bixler said goodbye to guitarist/violinist Tomo Milcevic and wrote a crap tonne of music. 200 songs to be precise. Was it all brilliant? Does it matter? Apparently these 11 tracks were the best of the bunch, and I am going to review them for you now. So, strap yourself into your leather boa, shirtless with designer long johns and stylised boots, as we explore what can only be described as ‘getting our Leto on.’
Big egos aside, this is a genre-hopping pastiche or homage if you will, to 70’s and 80’s synth with modern rock overtones and a pop sheen brighter than Jared’s name up in lights at film awards night in Hollywood. Warning. Not Heavy. Let us Leto :
STUCK – Since the band dropped the 14-second teaser clip way back in May this year, it has been a tense time in the makeup aisle wondering what new shades the band has cooked up. This track is a R&B journey through more tired hooks than Peter Pan with insomnia, and what one listener described as ‘Kyle
and Jackie-O shit’ melodies. A driving bassline that will have them jumping in time at the festivals this summer between sips of Lean. And by jump, I mean stretch their toes slightly. Not a bad album opener, but not the best either. Not Heavy
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL – This has solid Imagine Dragons vibes at the beginning but then goes into reverb drenched ambience and ends up…..no, it’s Imagine Dragons with a better-looking singer. ‘Time to rise up again’ (lyric) indeed. Not Heavy.
SEASONS – Acoustic guitar and electronica is a good mix when done properly. Jared oohs and ahhs over this pedestrian song that has the listener focusing on the vocal performance which, for the most part is one of those ‘I’m driving and there’s music playing but I’m so lost in my thoughts that all I hear is in tune
noise’ kind of soiree’s. Not Heavy.
GET UP KID – No, not the name of Adam Sandler’s latest movie, although just as comical. As in there is no punch (line). If I was the kid that is referenced in the lyric, I would not only stay down, but I would kick the Leto brothers in their collective nut sacks, cursing the fact they wrote such bland nothingness. Not Heavy.
LOVE THESE DAYS – Remember the title, because I’m predicting a bit of an eye-roll moment coming up in 5 songs or so time. This is what would happen if Justin Bieber was The Riddler and was in a band called 40 hours in Uranus, which in turn was just a Harry Styles tribute band that will not let Ed Sheeran buy their songs. Not Heavy
WORLD ON FIRE – Yay. Let’s use a dated sidechain technique already perfected by Australian wonderkid Flume, and let our keyboards play all the parts while I play acoustic guitar in the bridge. How about we don’t? And while we are at it, let’s not. Let’s just agree to don’t. Not Heavy
71 – Here’s 71 words describing why subscribers, casual readers, fellow reviewers, google stumblers and anyone who ever happens to read this inane review of an album by a once great emo band, if not the trendsetters of the modern incarnation of the genre should never mention the album It’s the End of the World but It’s a Beautiful Day let alone listen to this mediocre collection of moribund mundanities designed by marketing. Not Heavy
NEVER NOT LOVE YOU – The fact that this song has ‘album ballad’ vibes in a sea of ‘album ballads’ is either emo or emo. I’m going to go with both. Ends up blending into everything else on the album. Not heavy
MIDNIGHT PRAYER – More of the same. By now, you can tell I am really struggling. Synth heavy yet………… Not Heavy
LOST THESE DAYS – There’s that eye roll moment I mentioned 5 or so songs ago. But our collective eyes have rolled out of our head and out the door in solidarity with our ears, who chopped themselves off our noggins and changed identity only to be referred to now as Chey/Chin. Not Heavy
AVALANCHE – The last track I must suffer sounds like a Bon Iver/Kanye rip-off that finally kicks in with the old anthemic 30 Seconds to Mars that was once enjoyed by millions. It has the longest run time on the album at 3 minutes 24 seconds, making it an actual song and not just Soundcloud rap for now aging fans who once wooed and fancied their desire for Jared Leto via concert sales and streaming clicks. Not Heavy
Verdict? Not what I was expecting, and probably the reason 30 Seconds to Mars will have Heavy comeback album in the next few years.
*All reviews in HEAVY are just one person’s opinion of the album. We encourage honesty in reviews but just because our reviewer may or may not like/appreciate an album, that doesn’t mean their opinion is right! We encourage you to have a listen for yourself and make up your own minds!*
